Love & Relations Relating to Relationships: The Doctor Is In
Hello Readers! Wow! It’s been quite some time since I last contributed an article because of my extended sabbatical from teaching at Greenville College. I did a little soul searching by hiking up the steep heights of Mount Kilimanjaro with my good friends Nicholas Sparks and E.L. James. Miss E.L. James suggested that we go somewhere cold so that she could cool down after writing the steamy best seller Fifty Shades of Grey. It was a fantastic trip but, truth be told, I am glad to be back with some of the finest and brightest young minds in the country at Greenville College. I love shaping the love lives of my students even more than I love the movie Ghost (R.I.P Patrick Swayze). So with that in mind, I’ve been reading through the piles and piles of reader mail in my house and I am ready to pour a little romance into the cocktail that is the Greenville College social life.
Dear Dr. Crews, I have been in a little bit of a funk with my boyfriend. To be honest with you, this election tore us apart. We have different political views and it has really divided our relationship to the point where we may break up after being together for 7 years. Please help me, I don’t want to lose my best friend!
Linda Huerle Ruptin
Thanks for writing in, Linda. It seems like your relationship with your boyfriend has hit what we in the love biz call a “dividing issue.” This term is a little technical, so let me break it down so that you don’t get confused in all the psychological mumbo-jumbo. A “dividing issue” is a particular “issue” that “divides” two people. Now that you have a little more of a holistic understanding, let me first reassure you that it is a perfectly normal bump along Relationship Avenue. All couples go through it. I heard one time that John F. and Jackie Kennedy’s dividing point was on chip consumption. Do you eat a chip at once with one bite or do you break it down into two? They nearly divorced over it. Although it’s something all couples go through, it could wreck a relationship if it goes unchecked. Let me provide a few tips to bring you two lovebirds back together.
Plan A Weekly Date Night
It seems unromantic, but most couples have to schedule a date night into their calendar to keep the love alive and well. I would suggest that you pick a night and go out to eat at a romantic restaurant like Hardee’s. They have great food and the best service that an incomplete high school degree has to offer. It may not be as suave as New York’s Applebee’s or that debonair restaurant in Los Angeles, Taco Bell, but it is quality food at a semi-quality price. People feel more comfortable to converse over a plate of food. If you do this once a week (and avoid talking politics), your relationship will find the connecting point that has been missing. Some other great restaurants to meet at include Wendy’s, Pokie’s, Hooters, and Meineke. (They mainly specialize in changing oil, but they also have free popcorn and coffee. Two for one.)
Take A Cruise
This is a surefire way to win your loved one back. I am not talking about just any cruise. I am talking about a cruise that has been intentionally rigged to be overtaken by Somalian pirates. Check this out, www.robmycruises.com. These folks offer a 5-day cruise where midway through the trip Somalian pirates climb over the sides of the U.S.S. Barbara Walters and hold everyone on board hostage. This should send your boyfriend into a fight-or-flight/protect-my-loved-one frenzy where he is left with nothing else to do but combat the sea-bandits for your life, while simultaneously bringing your divided love lives back to a whole as you realize what is important in life. This cruise has received rave reviews and I would go so far as to give it my Love and Relations Relating to Relationships Official Seal of Approval. Book your tickets soon.
Well, that should about do it, Linda. Great question. It’s one that surely will resonate with a lot of the readers of this column. Please take solace in the fact that the election is now over and I pray that most of your love lives return to normal. If not, you know where to find me. Until next time loved ones!