World in Briefs
by Kevin Dunne
As if living on a giant island, where literally every animal is capable of killing you in at least ten different ways wasn’t bad enough, citizens of Australia have something else to be fearful of: the weather. Amidst a drought (which must never happen in Australia), literal tornados of fire have been sweeping across the outback. More accurately, these terrifying pillars of flame are called fire devils and according to nydailynews.com, they occur “when a swirling column of warm air comes in contact with brush fires.” Chris Tangey, a filmmaker, recently caught one of these behemoths on camera, making people around the world realize just how much Australia hates life.
For those of you who are avid fans of Shark Week, you may not want to read on. While sharks have been given a bad rap over the years, not all of them terrible, in fact, some of them are pretty friendly, as Toaki Teitoi recently discovered. After being lost at sea for 106 days, Teitoi awoke to discover a shark circling his boat, bumping it towards the direction of a fishing boat. Teitoi credited the shark, an unsung hero that just wanted to untaint its species’ reputation, with his salvation.
Besides being known for Tokyo Disney and ryokans, Japan is notorious for its oddities. Possibly feeling that this title was threatened, chef Mao Sugiyama decided to do what any normal person would do: he cooked his own genitals. Sugiyama, a self described asexual, had his genitals surgically removed and offered to serve up a dish of his own manhood via Twitter. Five brave and adventurous souls paid $250 to dine on Sugiyama’s concoction and a banquet was even held in honor of it.
As if American politics weren’t already enough of a joke, Canada had to one-up its neighbors. Running as a third party candidate in the municipality of Halifax, is none other than Tuxedo Stan… who is a cat. No, I’m not kitten you. Tuxedo Stan, while certainly a noble creature, is technically not a valid candidate. Instead, the Tuxedo Party’s platform, which he heads, is to raise awareness of spaying and neutering cats. Remember that thing about American politics being a joke? As it turns out, there is already a cat that is the mayor of a town in Alaska. So when you go to the ballots in a few weeks, paws for a moment before you cast your vote and consider which candidate would best embody the spirit of Tuxedo Stan.