Kevin Dunne
United Kingdom
Somewhere, beyond the grave, Roald Dahl is smiling. Even though it’s October, no witches are turning kids into rats and nobody is cooking up some marvelous medicine in a cauldron. Something a little less extraordinary is happening in the British countryside. It all began when Carey Tesler’s 83-year-old father-in-law awoke from a nap in his garden to find a fox trying to eat his hand. The fantastic fox, along with other cohorts (one could even say a fleet of foxes) has apparently been troubling Tesler’s neighbors as well. Why the fox hasn’t been apprehended yet is still puzzling to many, as the English perfected the sport of fox hunting and painted a bunch of awesome pictures about it.
Scotland
If you’re ever feeling down in the dumps, just remember that you can never have as bad a day as highlander Willie Middleton. When he lost his bunnet (a necessity for all self-respecting Scots) in a trashcan, Middleton stuck his head in and for twenty minutes, could not remove it. After police, paramedics, and firefighters arrived, Middleton was set free from Alcatrash. After a video was uploaded to the internet, Middleton’s fame skyrocketed like anyone who got their head stuck in a trash bin’s would.
India
If the phrase “you are what you eat” actually applied to people, then an unidentified Indian girl would be Cousin Itt from The Adams Family. After complaining that she hadn’t been able to eat or drink for a couple days, the girl was taken to the Maharaja Yeshwantrao Hospital in Indore, India. It was there where doctors found that there was a four pound ball of hair and chalk in the girl’s stomach. As strange of an idea it is to digest, the girl would eat these delicious substances to combat boredom when she was in school. And people think that the American school system is bad….
America
Sweet injustice, Batman! The Caped Crusader has finally been put behind bars in Michigan after Petoskey police officers put a stop to Batman’s brand of vigilantism. Mark Wayne Williams was jailed after interfering with police work last Saturday and refusing to leave the scene of the crime. Williams had been arrested previously for maintaining a vigil on the roof of a business, but after confusing police dogs, sort of like the ending scene of The Dark Knight, Williams could no longer be the hero Petoskey deserves. To be fair, Williams’ middle name is Wayne, so he was somewhat entitled to wear the cape and cowl.
