Article by Tyler Lamb with Charlie Pixley. Media by Austin Stephens
If you read last week’s “Top 5” you saw we mentioned one of the greatest actors in only one of the reboots, Vin Diesel. Of course, he would fit into any role perfectly, and has proven he can do such with his diverse filmography. He’s been robbed of the Academy Award one too many times, and it’s a wonder as to why he hasn’t been at least given a lifetime achievement award yet. This leads to the question, “What movies would be better with Vin?” Of course, the answer is really any movie, and even narrowing down to specific scenes is hard. However, we at the Papyrus have taken this task upon ourselves and now give you the “Top 5 Scenes that Would be Better if Vin Diesel Were in Them”.
5. Apocalypse Now: “The Horror” scene in Colonel Kurtz’ camp.
Vin would fit great into this movie. He’s shown, again with his versatile filmography, that he belongs in a war movie. If, for this scene, the Colonel was replaced by “the dynamite” himself, the classic line would be given in a more memorable manner. The scruffy, deep sound of Vin’s voice would be music to your ears while hearing him mumble “the horror”. Let’s face it, if anyone knows about the senselessness of the Vietnam war and it’s effect on the human psyche, it’s Vin Diesel.
4. Good Will Hunting: “The NSA” scene where Will is at a job interview.
Vin should be replacing Matt as Will Hunting in this scene hands down. Again, he’s shown his skills with long, thought out speeches to convince someone of his ideas. He can and has delivered lines like this with great execution. And let’s be honest, there’s nothing you want more than to hear Vin talk as fast as possible with those windpipes of his. Even better, he can add a Boston accent and just trump Damon all around. Seriously, he already wrote the thing, how power hungry is he? Get someone (who happens to be more talented anyway) in there for a scene to change up the pace of the movie to something everyone in the world will instantly love. This scene is particularly relevant with recent NSA events, and who would be better to help the youth of America help formulate their opinions other than the master, Mr. Diesel?
3. Dumb and Dumber: “The Most Annoying Sound in the World” scene.
Here we have another choice on the list that doesn’t need a whole lot of explaining. Of course for this scene Vin would be replacing Carrey. As always, we can look back at his amazing films to show that he can and has done comedy. Clearly the only problem lies in the fact that hearing Xander Cage make this noise may change the whole meaning of it, shifting the film paradigm into a whole new form of storytelling. The result could end up being one of the most calming noises in the world instead of the most annoying. However, I am willing to take that risk to hear Diesel utter that sound from his vocal chords.
2. To Kill a Mockingbird: The “All Men Are Created Equal” scene in the courtroom.
I mean come on, do I really need to point you into the direction of his filmography once more? Vin has proven he can be a weird looking dude with a gut and hair while talking in front of a courtroom. The whole movie, which is about racism, would be more believable if it came from Vin, a man who transcends race, and not this uptight looking guy with glasses. Maybe this movie should be added to the shortlist of what needs a reboot, putting Vin in the lead role and more than just this scene. As of right now, it is obvious that, in at least this scene alone, Vin would prove a better actor.
1. Les Miserables: The “I Dreamed a Dream” scene with a downtrodden Fantine.
As you may have seen me state in the past, this movie sucked big time*. Not only did Anne Hathaway run away with the Oscar for most likely the 3rd shortest amount of screen-time for a supporting actress, but she also had a horrible voice. Vin should replace her for this scene hands down. This time you might be asking what movie I would be pointing at, but surprisingly enough there is no movie to support this claim. However, there is something better. On Valentines Day of this year the Iron Giant himself posted a video of him singing a cover of Rihanna’s “Stay”. Just listen to that and be moved. If you are able to listen to the entire song with dry eyes, you are a robot and have no soul.
*Excluding Russel Crowe’s slapstick comedic death
Here they are, the 5 scenes Vin could and should make better. It was a hard thing to do, narrowing them down to just 5, but it was done. Hopefully someone out there in the business catches a glimpse of this article and opens their eyes to the various possibilities Dom Toretto brings to the table as an actor.