Written by Erin Lobner. Media by Courtney Murphy.
About a decade ago, we were blessed (or cursed) with one of the internet’s many wonders: “The Sims.” Nowadays, players can enjoy updated versions and multiple expansions of the well-known game. “The Sims” might not be quite as popular as it once was, but within the first month of its release, the game sold more than six million copies. The best thing about the game is that there’s no clear purpose: it can really be whatever the player decides it should be. This naturally leads to some pretty interesting situations, like when the Grim Reaper shows up to your child’s pool party and steals their plate of salmon.
Anyway, being an education major (and running on fumes), my mind somehow veered very, very off track in class last week. I found myself wondering what life would be like if the quirky characters in “The Sims” were in charge of our schools’ Home Economics classes. Spoiler alert: it’s sort of chaotic.
First of all, Sims are very emotional. They can be perfectly content to stand around all day doing nothing, but failing to make a good pie is likely to set them off. I don’t know about you, but I never saw my teachers react quite like this. Then again, it kind of makes sense. You see the potential of what that pie could have been, and now that it’s burnt to a crisp, screaming maniacally just seems like the best option.
So, that’s fine, everyone makes mistakes in the kitchen once in a while, right? Of course. But my teacher never taught us this kind of approach to dishwashing. First of all, I was taught to wash my dishes in the kitchen, not the bathroom. And second, I just logistically was never able to stand in a sink like that. Maybe the technique is for Home Ec professionals, but it still seems like one of the more iffy lessons we could learn from a Sim’s class.
I’m not sure if this is necessarily a Home Ec issue, but we’re going to hope your teachers would equip you with the skills to know not to go near anything that looks like this cat. If you are a compassionate person who wants to adopt the animals no one else will, that’s great. But it might be a good idea to avoid Sim-style cats that would give people nightmares.
Finally, here’s one of the most intimidating challenges Sims face: babies. One thing I can guarantee is that if Sims taught Home Ec, people would learn some very misguided parenting strategies. For example, this confused
mom in “The Sims” decided it would be a good idea to take her baby for an underwater stroll, And then there are the families who don’t find it strange that their toddler is glowing. I honestly can’t remember if that’s a normal thing in Sims’ lives, but in our world, it would raise some eyebrows.
There are thousands of screencaps of situations just like this floating around the web. Thinking about some of the Sims’ strange habits, I have to be glad they weren’t in charge of my education. But in the end, I think if you learn from the above mistakes, you and your Sims will be just fine.