Written by Elise Cranston.
Here at Greenville, a college with rich history and tradition, it is easy sometimes to let other traditions take precedent over the seemingly unimportant ones. Such a loss is sad to say the least. Legend has it, the legend being stories from my grandparents, parents, and brother who all attended Greenville College in prior years, that there was once a tradition of Freshman Crush and Freshman Nemesis. This tradition calls the upperclassmen to assess the new Freshman class and from the pack of puppy eyed and eager boogers pick a Freshman Crush, and perhaps even a Freshman Nemesis. It is my hope to recreate this tradition; may the Greenville College upperclassmen keep your eyes open and choose carefully, for this is not a tradition to take lightly. This is an interview with Freshman Jake Cannon, whom I, Elise Cranston, deem personally worthy of your Freshman Crush.
EC: Jake, why did you choose Greenville for your college destination?
JC: Actually technically I didn’t choose Greenville. I really wanted to go to SIU. However, I never received any word from SIU…ever. Greenville, on the other hand, was persistent to say the least; they made me feel like a girl being asked to Prom with all the attention I received. I decided it was probably a good sign I belonged at Greenville.
EC: Speaking of Prom, what’s a homeschooled Prom like?
JC: HA! Well it was mostly with people I had meet through playing dodge ball and it was held in church…so you tell me how awesome that sounds!
EC: Right on, back to Greenville! How did you hear about Greenville?
JC: I had never heard of Greenville before I attended Agapefest. That is when I first heard about Greenville College. After that I received a lot of phone calls, letters, and emails from Greenville pursuing me to attend.
EC: What are your top five strengths, which one is most you, and why?
JC: Input, Learner, Belief, Analytic, and Achiever. Belief best describes me. I often use Facebook as a forum for political and theological debates! I especially love to pick fights with all my Lutheran friends back home! When I enter a discussion my friends often say, ” We know what you believe, Jake…”
EC: What’s your major? What do you love about it?
JC: I am majoring in Digital Media, with a film emphasis. I love the film aspect, especially setting up angles, editing a video. I love to see it all come together at the end. Joyous moments are found in creation. I want to create things that make people laugh and cry.
EC: What did you do for kicks back home?
JC: Well, first of all, you should know I was homeschooled. I worked at AMC theater; I liked to watch movies with my friends there. I loved to go to local library on Tuesday for game day. This is place where I often found debates with Lutherans over games and dinner. There is nothing in the mall, but I hate it there! I love Goodwill!!! I am the kind of person who could waste a whole day watching TV or movies
EC: Where’s your favorite place in Greenville?
JC: The DC is a great place to connect with people. I went to Alco once, pretty boring there. I have been to the cupcake shop, bought some truffles and cupcakes. I guess I still need to explore a little more.
EC: What flavor of soda do you think best describes you and why? (Side note: he’s wearing a Dr. Pepper T-shirt to the interview)
JC: DR. PEPPER!!! Dr. Pepper is underrated, but then bring up something like religion or politics and I AM LIKE MMMMMAAARRRWWWW!!
EC: What do you look for in an upperclassman Nemesis?
JC: He has to dashingly handsome like myself; I am the Yin To his Yang. I want to grow my beard, and he wants to shave. He watched Big Bang Theory, I watch Community. We would have different ways to ask the same girl out: I would pelt pebbles on her window, and serenade her with Feist’s “1234.” He would ride up on a black horse with a traveling minstrel band. He is the Joker to my Batman.
EC: What do you look for in an upperclassman crush?
JC: He has to be cute…kidding!!! She is cute. She walks with an air of mystery and intrigue and leaves men wanting more. When she flips her hair she sends men into somersaults. When she looks directly at you, you melt. Her laugh pierces your soul.
EC: Tell me your perfect Greenville Date!
JC: I would piggyback her to Mario’s singing Indie Pop hits the whole way there. We would gobble delicious pizza. We would then ride a horse drawn carriage to various thrift stores around Greenville. After thrifting for a bit I would take her to the Globe, and offer a snack for the movie. Departing from the film, we would take the carriage back to Scott field where soothing waltz music is playing. We would waltz around Scott Field because awkward swaying is stupid and ballroom dancing rocks. I would then walk her back to her dorm, but I wouldn’t go in because that would be weird.
EC: Any last words?
JC: Check out one of my videos! My channel is called” NoBudget1” and the movie is called RPG. Check it out. It will blow your mind.
I’ve never even heard of Feists “1234.” More like Plain White T’s “1, 2, 3, 4.” 🙂
I also never said I pick on Lutherans. Completely against my character. That’s something that’s been HIGHLY exaggerated.
Plus the homeschool prom was epic. Don’t let this article tell you any different.
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