How to Court Someone: “The Right Way”

Media by James Menk

Written by Andrew “The Prophet of Love” Page. Media by James Menk.

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I believe it was Einstein who defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. With this Einsteinian thought in mind, I want to say something to those of you out there who feel drawn to someone on the Greenville campus but have yet to make a move because you’re expecting a miracle to make that relationship happen for you – you are “insane.” I can hear some of you now, “So what chance do I have?” Well, I have good news for you.
That’s right, the Prophet of Love is here to give you some helpful tips on the arbitrary atmosphere of amore.  I know what some of you are saying, “Wow!  This coming weekend is Homecoming and the Prophet of Love has intersected my life at just the right time!”  It’s true, I’m ready to offer you a few simple steps that will guarantee you get a date and, now that I think about it, may even help some of you catch a lifelong mate.
Step One: You’ve got to get that special someone to notice you.  Any kind of recognition is good.  This week make it is your mission to force the one who has caught your eye to simply acknowledge your existence.  An economical way to do this would be to submit your “campus crush” to GC Confessions. You can submit your name and the name of the one you hope to be your main squeeze. This way when they see their name they will also see your name. By this they will know you are someone’s campus crush and will instinctively say, “Wow they are desirable.” Let’s be honest everything looks better when other people want it.
Step Two: When you come upon the apple of your eye in a public setting, never approach them.  To approach them would give them too much power which would only serve to fill them with great confidence. Remember, you’re the one at this point who needs the power and confidence. In a public setting you want them to notice you while, at the same time, they’re convinced you are oblivious to them. You must act as though you see everyone else but them!  Yelling at some friends nearby is a cool little trick you could use that proves your eyes do actually work but you’ve overlooked them.  Remember, your task is to be noticed!
Step Three: Start talking to them on a social networking site. If you aren’t friends with them send them a friend request but be sure to send it with at least seven other requests, making them think they’re just a number on your list at this point. This will serve to hide your intentions until you’re really sure it’s safe. Now, go ahead and send them a little Facebook message or follow them on Twitter to see what they’re doing.
Step Four: This is very important!  It’s time to start collecting some “intelligence” on your love target. Go to their Facebook page and memorize everything about them you can.  This will eliminate the need to ask them about all that stuff later, allowing you to jump the “common courtesy” step and move on to more important matters.  Trust me, you will really impress them with all the stuff you know about them before you’ve even had a conversation with them.  I know they’ll find it charming and romantic.
Step Five: So where does all of this lead?  Ah! The Prophet of Love is so glad you asked.  It all leads to that one shimmering moment when you ask them the one question they’ve been praying all week you would ask, “Do you want to go to homecoming with me?” If you’ve followed my steps as I’ve outlined them, I’d be surprised if they didn’t scream “Yes” before you even finished asking your question.
In light of all I have shared with you, I must add a warning.  This “getting noticed” method, which, incidentally, is backed up by numerous studies, should never be employed mindlessly.  A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, as they say!  I wonder, did Einstein say that too?  Never mind – so take what I’ve given you and be careful with it.  If you don’t, you may regret what you create.
NOTE: These tips are not exclusive to any sex, age, race, ethnicity, or religious background.


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