By: Kevin Dunne
It’s a common misconception that Canadian Mounties spend most of their time listening to Rush, playing hockey, and tracking down maple syrup bandits. Not all Mounties embody Dudley Do-Right though, as an unnamed officer of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police recently learned. While in hot pursuit to head off a suspect, the officer was stopped by two moose and as he slowed down, one of the moose charged his vehicle and jumped on his car. After sustaining minor injuries, the heroic officer finished the rest of his shift and in a statement, the RCMP said, “both the culprit and accomplice departed the area on hoof.” In a country where you drink milk from bags, news like this is the equivalent of finding the lost-city of Atlantis.
Ernest Hemingway would be proud of Xiao Yulong, a 54 year old Chinese man, that was recently sent to jail for ringing a bell. After likely having watched Animal House, Yulong rang a bell early, forcing 1,050 students to hand in their exams about 5 minutes early. Yulong’s shenanigans caused thousands of parents and students to gather at the school and demand an investigation. While the incident took place over the summer, Xiao was only recently sentenced to a year in jail.
Captain’s log, stardate 48151623.42.
Two fans of the popular show Star Trek recently tied the knot in the most romantic way imaginable; an authentic Klingon wedding. At the London ExxCel Centre, Josefin Sockertopp and Sonnie Gustavsson boldy went where none had dared go before and became the first couple to have officially have a Klingon wedding. Gustavsson said that she, “had to be persuaded to have a Klingon wedding but did not regret it…The ceremony was his idea. I thought about it a lot and then I said ‘let’s do it.’” While she may not regret the wedding, she may want to forget it ever happened, but who am I to question love?
They say that laughter is the best medicine, but whoever “they” are clearly never saw a clown or read Stephen King’s It. The 17th annual Feria de la Risa (Laugher Fair) was held in Mexico City last week and brought together the totally normal members of the clowning community. Sharing secrets of the trade and making children cry, the clowns gathered for four days at the event. The fair was organized by master clown (which doesn’t sound cultish at all) Tomas Morales, who wanted those in attendance to have a good time and improve on their clown skills.