“For unbelievers, death is a scary thing, but for believers, death doesn’t have to be feared.”
I’ve heard this shared by many churches, however, I never really understood it and quite frankly it sparked anger within me. It was almost as if Christians have to be okay with losing someone they love. I have spent years praying for God to keep my family healthy and safe so I would never have to “pretend losing someone I love wasn’t the worst thing imaginable.” Yet, Jesus had a different plan than I did. He decided it was time for me to learn something that would change the way I live the rest of my life.
My dad got sick about two months ago and grew sicker by the minute. Within a month of being diagnosed with cancer, Jesus decided it was time to take my dad home. These last two months have been a crazy journey for my faith. While I once was scared of death and never understood how one could have peace and reassurance when losing a loved one, Jesus showed me there is no reason to be fearful and death to a Christian is actually a blessing. Even the scariest, most unknown thing in this world is no longer a fear of mine and it doesn’t have to be for other believers in Christ either.
During that month of uncertainty before my dad passed, I spent almost every hour begging God not to take my dad from us. Through prayers, I had a tremendous amount of hope. I was reminded over and over God has provided miracles for people all over the world for thousands of years. If He could provide a miracle for others, there was no reason He couldn’t or wouldn’t for my dad. Even in the midst of pain and uncertainty, I had an undying sense of hope that my dad was going to be okay.
Now, this hope was solely that my dad was going to kick cancers butt and come back home. I mean my life didn’t make sense without him. God loves my dad more than I do, so there was no chance He would let him die. However, since the day my dad was born, God knew the number of days he had on earth and his last day came.
I have never felt pain like the day I had to say goodbye to my dad. I was devastated and enormously angry that God was sitting back watching this happen to the best man I had ever had in my life. God wasn’t sitting back not doing anything though, He was working diligently. I just didn’t see it yet. I was mad, confused, and broken. However, even when I could have turned my back on God for not giving me what I wanted, I still came to Him with all my emotions. I still cried out to Him with everything I had, because that’s all I had.
I was hysterical up until the moment my dad took his last breath. As my dad took his last breath though, an overwhelming amount of peace filled me. I can’t describe it, but I know without a doubt it was all the work of Jesus. I knew in that last moment exactly where my dad was at and it brought me joy. I was no longer scared. I had every reassurance in that moment that my dad had finally made it home to be with Jesus, and he was in a much better place.
Being filled with peace the moment your father leaves this world is the most bizarre feeling ever. It actually sounds crazy, but it’s real. I had an overwhelming amount of peace knowing that my dad was now in the presence of God. I could feel Jesus as if He was holding me himself. He continues to comfort me with peace and hope knowing that my dad isn’t gone forever. I will see him again one day and we will never be separated again.
I’m no longer scared of what death brings because I know Jesus’ plan is never wrong and He will never leave us. I now understand and believe that death to Christians is a victory. We will be in the presence of Jesus and joy will be everlasting. God provides even in the darkest of times. Jesus conquered death and He’s holding you and me so closely that even death can’t rip us from His undying love.
